Sora Journal

Self Portrait

By Keron Ro.

This is the self portrait we were tasked with to describe us in both words and art. One of our final stages in the Expedition "Becoming da Vinci," as art requires understanding of the subject. Who to better understand, but yourself?

Murphy Tower, a self portrait drawn even in itself to be a pun. The potato jokes never end. What does it represent? I don't really know. Sure it's me, but what's behind it is entirely random. A potato pouring out this Stardust after being bitten into a giant space-like dimension with "hanging" paintings or pictures. It's entirely random, and at best I could say that's the only way I guess I could say I am. The background, while not entirely, should look like a tower. Maybe if I could segment it better it could be more obvious, but it's hard to properly portray it. The background was taken from a very very lucid dream of mine. Me and somebody else, I don't remember her, were driving out in the desert only to break down in the middle of a barely remaining looking shack. A decrepit old man waddled out and invited us inside, and strangely we followed. Inside was a Crystalline Blue tower as if the walls were made of space and stars itself, rising like a skyscraper and lined to the unforeseeable ceiling with paintings. I embraced the inner weird and decided to mimic this with random paintings and ideals from my kind to represent colors I'd enjoy or moments that kinda remind me of me. The weird pink thing being a pig sorta from minecraft, the cut being because I unreasonably scar myself outside a bunch, an eyeball just to be an eyeball, samurai cuz they cool and two dudes duking it out in one last stand just because I thought it was a nice idea. A lot of these are completely random but somehow I enjoy them. Like the bone. Means literally nothing except for the fact I liked it. Maybe it could be minecraft too, who knows. But it's probably the unreasonable drug trip thought process I go through sometimes that I'd probably say is what makes my Da Vinci. Must be the uranium. Off topic, back on script: For us to say so blatantly that we could just be Da Vinci, it's odd, yknow? Too just say you can be this figure of history. But in all honesty it's never that hard. You don't ever have to be born differently. In all honesty if you just got up to try you really could be considered a genius. There's no choice in trying to be incredibly smart. I've said it so many times before, because it's just the truth. How could Einstein be a genius, as could Da Vinci? He never even received the "true education"? No. No it's just because he does things in such a way that it's considered so confusing, crazy, and ingenious. He created paintings of lifelike proportions that truly aren't difficult without effort. You have to know what you're painting, not just pour it out and say done. His process in painting people was done out in public, scampering around and doodling in a book strapped to his side. "The positions of people are so infinite that the memory is incapable of retaining them, which is why you should keep these sketches as your guides." Doodling faces and returning home to properly recreate it, it was a constant endeavor of guiding through life with an almost childish mindset. A boat floating along the coastline of his emotions. Nuh uh! There's more!

Boom, what's that? You're shocked I'm not finished yet?  Well just rest your haunches cuz were going into everything today!

It's not just that neutral thinking, is it? Just a little wonky tonk is fine, but it's rules and regulations that cause everyone to think so directly. The renaissance was an era of almost direct freedom, yknow? And for me to completely sink in the emotional spectrum and feeling of being "Da Vinci", you can't think completely normal. Their time was an era of Paradise, and lived in a lifestyle where they could do whatever they basically wanted, never having to worry about their bills n stuff. Because of that they often went off to painting! I'm trailing on, but it's that attitude of doing what you wanted to do that left the road to Genius, and the final key is how you're gonna do it? Da Vinci is a man of no chains. Everything he's done, he's discovered his own way. That's why it's so different. Because it works just for him, not something that's recommended to you of "Top 10 best ways to" whatever. Figuring out what works best for you, is a pretty useful tool. In my session, I found a, while small, rather useful method to fix my own shortcomings.

A little while back, I made a drawing. Wistful Spring, named after the feelings and the fact it was raining during the spring. I used the best method to completely analyze it and break it down in my head. To actually be there and make it in real time works the best for me. The smell of the rain ran reminiscent of burnt tire or something. Never the best smell, but it was the look of something like this that if you really were to just walk away, you wouldn't be able to get the total feeling. So I stayed underneath a small little roofed area and sketched it all out in the rain. And I loved it, although the rain was a risk of getting sick(I didn't >:3). But, my own problem, how could I mimic the feeling of rainfall? I never was the ultimate drawer, and honestly couldn't just become better. Making a tree isn't enough for me. So I embraced the thought process so random, some would look at you crazy. I went through an artist's worst nightmare and had the rain fall onto the paper. If you can't do the drawing of rainfall, why not just let the rainfall do it? It looks beautiful when it's falling down on a tree, so it naturally only would look beautiful on the paper. All that was left was to copy it. Understand and follow the processing of how the rainfall truly works in your own drawings. And now I consider myself at least decent at rain drawings. This is kinda the same as when I drew an onion. Staring at it and sitting there for minutes on end with the very pungent onion smell. Just looking at it reminds me of how it smelt. But hopefully it can for you too, in showing you that to truly make the beautiful reality on paper you'd have to be there.

And that's how I think of Murphy Tower. I've been there, it's me we are talking about. And who is anyone else to say my self portrait is odd, misshapen, or inaccurate? Because it's myself I created. It's there for a purpose, and that being to be how I envisioned myself at that very moment! My main source of inspiration, Mr Picasso, a self portrait so bizarre it looks alien. But brought the light of how a self portrait shouldn't just be a picture of you. But a picture of yourself. Feelings, mindset, emotion. Never leave it to be so stagnant. You're performing an action, making a face, doing something. How does this remind you of you?